


Heartbreak dosen't forget the strong

by LouLou24



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2020-09-19 11:01:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20330056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouLou24/pseuds/LouLou24
Summary: A sort of collection of one shots.Completely winging it.Thank you for reading.Broken heart is a metaphor for the intense emotional—and sometimes physical—stress or pain one feels at experiencing great and deep longing. The concept is cross-cultural, often cited with reference to a desired or lost lover.





	Heartbreak dosen't forget the strong

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for this but it's missing them hours and this just wouldn't leave my thoughts.

When the raven arrives from Kingslanding Sansa glances at Brienne before reading quietly to those present that Cersei and Jaime Lannister have died in the fall of Kingslanding, Brienne shows no emotion.

Go away inside he once told her and that is what she does until she reaches her chamber. The chamber she shared with him.

As soon as she has closed and barred her door she let’s what she has just heard consume her.

Dead.

Given his life for his sister.

The pain is like nothing she has felt before. All consuming like a hand has punched it’s way through her chest and taken grip of her heart. Squeezing the last of her life from her. The pain when Renly died in her arms, when biter took her cheek, the bet, the cold lonely nights on the road, everything she had witnessed and felt so far in her life. Nothing could prepare her for what she is feeling now.

Loneliness. Brienne had felt lonely before but this was final. She knew she would never lay with another she would spend the rest of her days in mourning of what could have been. Of the loss of a man who believed himself unworthy. Who had left her to return to a life she wished he could have severed.

Kingslayer. Oathbreaker. Man without honor. Sister fucker.

But to Brienne he was more than that. Why couldn’t he stay? Why?

She could feel the cold floor under her knees. The wetness streaming down her cheeks. Each breath more and more painful to take.

This is what love does to you she thought bitterly it takes and takes from you till it leaves you with nothing but a broken heart.

Just once in her life Brienne wanted someone to choose her. To put her above everything else in their life. To feel worthy of receiving the love and kindness she bestows on others.

But it wasn’t to be. The one she had given her heart and body too had chosen another. His sister. She knew that all she would be known as would be the Kingslayers whore. The shame.

Her eyes catch sight of widows wail still propped against the wall. Before she registers what she is doing she is on her feet grabbing the sword from its resting pace against the wall and using it to hack apart the bed. The bed he had taken her maidenhead in. The bed they had made theirs in the weeks after. The bed in which at night after fucking they whispered and confessed to each other the Hope’s they had for their lives. Of what they could still achieve. Of a life together. 

After that night the pain never leaves her. It follows her everywhere she goes.

To Kingslanding. To be lord commander of Brans Kingsguard.

The accomplishment is not the same without him there to share it with her.

She doesn’t feel anymore. She often wonders is this what Jaime felt stationed outside when he was guarding Aery’s. Listening to him abuse his wife. To him meddling with the wild fire. 

Go away inside. She hears him whisper.

She does.

Food is bland and tasteless so she rarely partakes in eating at all. Sleep is rare, often getting a few minutes after an exhausting crying fit. Those nights are the worst. When she needs to clamp a hand over her mouth to stifle the sobbing. Other nights she sits in front of the fire and silently weeps all night until the sun rises and she fastens the white cloak and goes to do her duty of protecting the king.

Pod is concerned. He has never seen her so despondent. Her armour is now too large on her frame. The tiredness shows not just in her face but in her movements aswell.

He curses Jaime Lannister to all seven pits of hell.

Bran is the first to crack. He sends her back to Tarth. Not forever he tells her, but for rest. To see her father again. To swim in the ocean. For some peace he hopes.

Brienne is aware she will never feel peace again. She knows she is losing every value she held dear when she curses Renly for dancing with her and igniting the first fantasy within her. Of her love for him, for leaving Tarth and joining his Kingsguard. Then she curses him for dying. For dying and then leaving her to swear her sword to Catelyn Stark. Then it is Catelyn Starks turn to be cursed by her. For bringing that wretched Jaime Lannister into her life. 

The nights are still the worst.

Flashes. Of Jaime in chains. The road to Kingslanding. The taking of his hand. The baths of Harnenhall. His confession. The gift of the sword. The meeting in riverrun. Every moment they have shared. Every moment they could have shared.

Now she has a ritual.

Remove Oathkeeper and Widows Wail from their hidden spots along with one of his tunics. His smell is fast fading from the tunic and soon enough it wont smell of him at all.

Why? 

Why did he come North and fight by her side only to then return to his wretched sister?

Why did he have to follow her that night after the feast? Why join her ever night after until that night he tried to leave without telling her why?

She knows she is torturing herself with these question that will never be answered.

Oathkeeper hasn’t sat on her hip since news of his death. It’s too painful. She revels in the pain now at night when she takes the sword from its hiding place and hears him proclaim ‘it’s your’. It will always be your’. 

She always thought he was talking about his heart. Now she is not so sure.

Keeping up pretence’s is hard. Her Lord father frowns more and more as he sees her food go untouched. He is also yet to witness his daughter in the training yard. He knows what this is. His daughter is letting her broken heart take her. He prays to the seven to give her strength to overcome this grief.

Brienne used to enjoy the beach. The sounds of the waves beating against the shore. The smell of the salt and seaweed heavy in the air. Now she visits just to escape the worried stares from her father. From the whispers of the staff. She wishes she had the courage to submerge herself in the sea and let it take her like it took Galladon.

Tears fill her eyes once more as her next thought is of Jaime greeting her in the afterlife. Damn that man.

Lord Selwyn sits at the head of his table. He can hear footsteps running up the corridor towards the hall he currently sits in. Selwyn knows the news he is about to receive. He can feel it in the pits of his stomach. Standing from his chair he makes his way to the window and looks out over the bluff. It’s a beautiful morning. He hears the servant explain the Lady Brienne will not raise from her sleep again. The stranger has came and taken her home in the night.

He says a silent pray that his beautiful warrior daughter gets the peace she deserves.


End file.
